AA Humour
"I find it a little chilling when I remember just how near the truth the plain ridiculous can be, however It is good for us in sobriety to learn to laugh at ourselves." 
Here are some jokes that I hope will help to lighten up your day

    You know you're an alcoholic when...

    • You frequently urinate outdoors.
    .
    • You first wake up and you're afraid you're gonna die and a half-hour
    .            later you're afraid you won't.
    .
    • You fall asleep taking a dump.
    .
    • You believe that spilling a beer is alcohol abuse.
    .
    • You go to the john to hurl, but you take your beer with you.
    .
    • You find it's easier to study drunk.
    .
    • You're on a first name basis at the detoxification center.
    .
    • Beer ads make sense.
    .
    • You wake up to the sound of your dog drinking out of the toilet 
             and you're so dry that it sounds mighty thirst quenching.
    .
    • You wake the next morning and start drinking a few of the half
             empties left sitting around the room.
    .
    • The space on your driver's license that tells your eye color
             reads "bloodshot".
    .
    • You fall down a flight of steps and DON'T spill a drop of your
             beer.
    .
    • You mix your cocktails by the litre.
    .
    • You grow a beard because it stops beer that's running down your
             chin.
    .
    • You put off urinating in hopes of reaching that near orgasmic
             Zen-like piss.
    .
    • You explain to your bank manager that you spent your overdraft
             mainly on beer and women; "the rest I just wasted."
    .
    • When the bottle says 20 standard drinks but you only get 5.
    .
    • You spell Alcohol with a capital letter out of respect
    .