Fifteen things about Guernsey we mustn't let the Tourists find out before they come:

  1. There is no human rights, equal rights, consumer protection or employee protection legislation
  2. Our tax-free prices include "Carriage" charges that are equivalent to VAT.
  3. "Mais Oui" the service in local shops is more likely to be offered with a grunt than a smile
  4. The police insist the island is overrun with drugs-driven crime, and are equipped with riot vehicles and CS gas to contend with our so-called lawless society
  5. The traditional peace and quiet is regularly broken by high speed vehicles sporting a variety of alarming sirens, the latest of which sounds like a manic goose
  6. Residents (but not visitors) may expect to face water restrictions during summer months because fresh water is a finite resource
  7. The brochures imply that St Peter Port is still the prettiest harbour in Europe, but really it is adorned with heavy-duty railings and off limits to the public
  8. There are 10 miles of road to every square mile of land
  9. There are six cars for every ten locals
  10. There are no controls on pollution from vehicles, ad hoc burning or dumping of waste around the island
  11. The chemicals and nitrates from the horticultural and agricultural industries contaminate the drinking water
  12. Sewage is dumped untreated into the sea on the south and east coasts
  13. Leachate from landfill sites is running into the sea on the east and north coasts
  14. Aluminium sulphate is dumped into the sea off the west coast
  15. The French nuclear industries on the coast 20 miles away dump radioactive waste into the sea and air.

VISIT Guernsey Tourist Board?

Be careful though, they disable your "Back" button. Crafty, eh?

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