Chris Colmer

Name Chris Colmer
Height 5'11''
Weight Not enough
Position Forward
Age 23
Defender turned forward who recently played at the back for ten minutes. We now know why he no longer plays at the back. Was frightened by the Colombian initiation ceremony which he managed to survive, however some weeks later he fled to Gay Island in Bali, where he surrounded himself with Ladyboys.

Recently returned to the island but has yet to be encountered at a Colombian event.