John Seymour

Name John Seymour
Aliases Sick Boy, Rab C Nesbitt, George Best
Height Same as 15 beer cans
Weight Same as 10 crates of export lager
Position Midfielder, Forward
Age Same as a bottle of 22 year old whiskey
Currently taking some time out due to injury. Is often found praising the joys of watching midgets enjoying their private moments together. It is not known if his back injury is connected to this pastime in anyway.

Has extended his absence from the hockey scene by indulging in his favourite past time, drinking until he pukes!  His wages are now paid directly to the local brewery!

Has been rumoured to have applied for a job as Guernsey brewery chief beer taster..  When appearing at his first interview he fell in a 50 gallon vat, but soon drunk his way out!