Kees Jager

Name Kees Jager
Aliases Mr Floppy, Lord Jager of Deslisles, The Jagermeister
Height 6'8"
Weight Rumoured at 18st
Position Goal Keeper
Age 25
Kees has played hockey around the world whilst representing the England Under-21s and has played National League Division One. The pressure of the high level representative hockey affected him greatly and he decided to return to sunny Guernsey in 2000 to concentrate his first love of socialising.

This six foot eight tall man mountain can touch the cross bar with one foot whilst the other is planted firmly on the floor however he can't stop a pearoller from fifty foot. He has been known to play in midfield where his reach of over ten foot (with stick) is used to maim and bad-tackle to great effect. This wayward star could have reached the top if dedicated enough. His natural talent is undeniable. The quickness of his hand/ eye co-ordination is only outdone by his ability to sink copious amounts of booze. He cannot be beaten when alcohol is involved and is undoubtedly a drinking legend.

Whilst his sheer physical presence is there for all to see unfortunately he is not well built in all areas. He has recently dismissed the gay rumours that have persistently dogged his hockey career thus far by attracting a girlfriend, however, the full story is unconfirmed at the time of going to press.

Should be Guernsey's No.1 but has been held back by internal politics and the coach favouring his own 'yes men'.

He played up front in the final game of last season against Yobbos.  In a cunning, masterful plan Steve Ward (Yobbos captain) deemed him not being worth marking.  Unfortunately for Steve, Kees scored a hatrick during his 20 minutes on the pitch, although the total yardage was less than 3 yards.