|Name||Thomas Joseph Ozanne|
|Aliases||TJ, Judas Burns|
TJ is a prolific goal scorer for Colombians, largely
because he hangs around the goal like a fly around sh*t. He is famed for his
drag flicks but is infamous for his drag shows. Anyone who has been on a night
out with TJ will know of his love for wearing women's clothing. Together
with Matty De la Mare, who often likes to wear Lucy's coat and bag, TJ has
developed a scary obsession with wearing women's basques. The site will
shortly be updated with photographic evidence of this most horrific obsession.
Gay rumours dog his career (not much helped by his fashion sense) which he does little to dispel. He can cast a fishing line over 200 metres, throw a cricket ball the length of a hockey pitch, shoot a rabbit over a mile but can't find a girlfriend or shoot sh*t off a stick. He is the Colombians team armourer, with one of the largest private arsenals in Guernsey or Colombia.
His nickname Judas comes from pimping himself out to Yobbos during the Easter Festival 2000, the constant taunts of Judas nearly broke the young man but having returned to the Colombian fold has now made him stronger than ever. He is still a student at heart, taking his student work ethic in to his current job as a civil servant.
Despite being topscorer in Division 1 he can only be left back for Guernsey, yes you guessed, it left back in the changing room.
His best result of last season was finally investing in that all important Colombian accessory - a mobile phone.
His best performance of the season was at Easter, where, with some other Colombian assistance, he developed the "Carbonite Freezer". This lethal drinking machine was the downfall of many a festival player. Having used a boat pump the rumour is that he may be working in his garage on a motor powered version to increase the flow rate for next year!
After a trial co-habitation living with a girl TJ has now moved back to live with his Mummy. This was rumoured to have something to do with the fact that he can see the largest rabbit field in Guernsey from his parents house. However popular opinion is that it was due to his missing his Mummy's cooking and partnering her in the local cake decorating and flower arranging competitions!