After last weeks worldwide strike of the "I LOVE YOU VIRUS", reports are already coming in that the virus is mutating into several stages. Within the next few hours, expect to see:

The original "I love you" virus

The "I like you a lot" virus

The "You're nice, but I just want to be friends" virus

The "Its not you, its me" virus

The "Look, it was just a date...don't get clingy" virus

The "Okay, I think its best if we don't have anymore contact" virus

The "It was late, I was drunk, you were easy" virus

The "Stop calling me, you unfeeling prick" virus

The "That's it, I hate you and your stupid cat" virus

Plus:

The "No, I Ruullllyyyy Like You" Virus ... usually hits around midnight

The "You're Beawfullll ....." virus .... usually hits about 2am

The "Nothing has to happen. I just want to wake up with you in my arms" virus ..... careful, it's a sly one.

The "You're OK but I was wondering if your friend is single" virus

The "Of course I'll phone you ... Now do you want me to call a cab for you?"
.......... hmmm, that'll hit anytime between 3am & noon.