Silly Jokes

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1. Why was the soup rich?
Because it had 14 carrots in it

2. Why is a leg of pork like an old radio?
You get crackling from both!!

3. What is the tallest building in the world?
A Library -- It has so many storeys!!!

4. Why did the chicken eat the feed?
Because it was hungry!

5. Why is a forest so noisy?
Because of all the bark(s)

6. Why did King Arthur want a round table?
Because he was fed up of square meals!

7. What do you call a thief who breaks into a meat factory?
A ham burgler

8. What's the fastest liquid in the world?
Milk, it's pasturised before you see it!

9. What has sixty keys but cannot open a single door?
A piano

10. Why did mozart spend all day in bed?
He was writing sheet music!

11. What did the pipeline say to the drill?
oil be seeing you!

12. Why was miss piggy's boyfriend in court?
For kermitting a traffic offence!

13. Why was Adam the fastest runner in history?
He was first in the Human Race!

14. How do you make a witch itch?
Take away the W!

15. What do you get if you cross a farmer, a toupee and a mad scientist?
A hair raising experiment

16. What kind of punches do tired boxers throw ?
Slow pokes!

17. What happened when the icicle fell on the man's head ?
It knocked him cold

18. What is black and white and red all over ?
A newspaper

19. Why did the moron throw the butter out of the window ?
He wanted to see a butterfly

20. Why did the moron throw the clock out of the window ?
He wanted to see time fly

21. Why was cinderella rubbish at football?
She kept running away from the ball!

22. Which members of an orchestra can't you trust?
The fiddlers!

23. What do you get after it's been taken?
Your Photograph!

24. What does an ocean say when it sees the coast?
Nothing, it just waves!

25. Who can shave three times a day and still have a beard
A Barber

26. Arthur, did you take a bath this morning?
Why? Is there one missing?

27. What has a bottom at the top?
A leg!

28. Why did the nurse creep into the cupboard?
So as not to wake the sleeping pills!

29. What has a neck but no head?
A Bottle

30. How do you start a pudding race?

31. What's the best day for making eggs and bacon?

32. Where does Friday come before Thursday?
In the dictionary!

33. How does Jack frost get to school?
By Icicle

34. What should a short-sighted ghost wear?

35. What's small, white, and giggles a lot?
A tickled onion!

36. What do you do when you see a space man?
Park in it!

37. Why did the Sausage Roll?
Because it saw the Apple Turnover!

38. Why should you never tell secrets in a greengrocer's?
Because potatoes have eyes and beanstalk!

39. Why did the match box?
Because it saw the Garden fence!

40. Knock, Knock
Who's there?
A Tish
A tish who?
Bless You!


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